I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
