glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
