Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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