Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
