Well apparently he's into motor boating.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
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