My room smells like vodka and shame
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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