so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
