I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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