mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
