what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize