she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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