what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
