Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I seem to have left my pride at pride
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
