real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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