The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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