I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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