So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
