it wasn't lemon gatorade
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
