If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
