She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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