4 words: hood of his car
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
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