I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
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