I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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