Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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