Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Then you guys just all showered together...?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize