His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
