he was CRYING into my vagina
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
