The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
