As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize