I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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