I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
