you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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