now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Define "chronic" masturbator.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
