i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
