And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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