She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
