My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
