Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
