Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a trapeze. enough said
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Randomize