I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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