Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
