Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
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