You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
