And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
