As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I know her cup size but not her name....
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
