I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
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Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
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I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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