lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
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