One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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