Soap is not a condiment
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
