like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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