I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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