Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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