were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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