so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
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