I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
