i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
