Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize