is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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