He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
